Epic Evening

04/11/2009 § 4 Comments

“Water before love, my girl.”

“Does it take the whole Nile to quench your thirst?”

-Joshua and Lilia

I’m all alone this holiday weekend. Sure, sure, there are options. Things to do. Friends to see. &tc. But Gemma is out of town and I’m lazy without her. In an attempt to inject some epic into my life (something it’s been sorely lacking lately) I was planning on getting drunk by myself and and then blasting music and making my cat Hattie dance with me…all the while pretending that she was the size of a brown bear.

Luckily….or providentially perhaps(?)….I turned the tv on while I was eating my pizza– made from the dough I made the other night– and I caught the very beginning of The Ten Commandments! Thank you, thank you, thank you Cecile B. Demille.

…on top of that! old girl upstairs was tickling them ivories as if a frenzy had overtaken her. Sometimes things just work out.

I don’t really have much to say about the film, so I’ll just list some things; some awesome things. I like lists.

Firstly. Yul Brynner must be from a distant planet filled with crazy awesome people. That guy’s crazy awesome. Though his acting in The Ten Commandments is no different from  his acting in Westworld, (it’s funny to juxtapose those characters he played in my minds eye) it is still somehow spot on. Imagine that crazy robot running around Egypt claiming he was Ramses (probably by writing it in the sand….since, if memory serves me right, that wild west robot is a mute.

Secondly. What a funny time in which to live when folks thought that Gods would want grain…. and people would fill up silos full of it, just for the Gods. Isn’t that funny? If God has been around forever, and he made you, and you’ve never seen him/her, how on earth could you be presumptuous enough to think that God wants your lousy grain. Not even like bread or beer or prepared food….grain. haha. cracks me up. Eat it. Eat the grain. You grew it.

Thirdly. When old boy Seti and his daughter are playing Anubis cribbage or whatever, the dice they use is three round sticks that they rub between their hands and drop. …..are they always rolling threes?

Fourthly. Yul Brynner’s right hand man, perhaps some vizier(?), sounds like the Brain from Pinky and the Brain on Animaniacs.

Fifthly. Why’s he gotta chuck the commandments. I know he’s mad, but should Moses still be in too much awe of God to chuck them at the Baal worshipers? (It was Baal, right? Could have been Hermes for all I know)

Haven’t read my old testament in a while but I’m pretty sure Demille and company took some liberties. Still. It’s worth watching . Don’t know if Easter is the right occasion though. What’s Moses got to do with Jesus? I mean, I guess he foretold the coming and all that(?), right?

Any ideas. (Jer)

Added a few hours later.

God opens the sea with the blast of his nostrils.

-The Blind One

Haha. Blast of his nostrils. I’m sure there is a better, less comical way to say this. Perhaps “With his mighty breath,” or “with slight exhalation.” Anything other than blast of his nostrils. Say it aloud sometime.


§ 4 Responses to Epic Evening

  • (Jer) says:

    Glad you could take a break from that depressing scenario on Sunday and have dinner with us. I’ll try to answer some of your questions, but I’m pretty sure this is more just a test to see if I actually read your blog. Why do you always have to test everybody? >:0

    Never seen this movie but here it goes.

    Supposedly sin requires sacrifice. Maybe not to appease God’s “anger”, but it does need to be covered. The first instance would be when God sacrificed the animals for their skins to make Adam and Eve clothes. I’m not going to get all literalist on you or anything, but that’s the first instance of sacrifice in the Bible. Cane (did grain sacrifice) and Abel (did the meat sacrifice) both offered sacrifices. God required it. Common theme. Sort of giving back, recognizing that ultimately it’s not yours. Giving God his due. Sort of like taxes, I guess. But even if there is no God, I wouldn’t necessarily call it a complete waste of resources (psychological benefits of thanksgiving?). Besides, It’s not like you can just laugh at those ancients that easily. Have you ever wasted any resources? ;p

    “The greater portion of the Grain Offering served as the livelihood of the priests, just as the tithe was God’s appointed means for supporting the Levites. A handful of the Grain Offering was burned on the altar, while the rest was given to Aaron and his sons.”

    Um. the other questions . . . Moses was a prophet who led his people out of slavery, Jesus was the same, just more so. So they are definitely related. I’m not sure why he chucked the commandments though. He probably let his anger get out of control. Probably a pretty stressed man. His hair turned white from his ordeals! I guess he has faults. The entire Bible is a record of God’s people messing up. Except Jesus.

  • Nick says:

    But what about the “blast of his nostrils” part?

  • Nick says:

    Also. I guess I was referring to the Egyptians having tons of grain in silos and then old boy Moses up and gives it to the slaves, thus upsetting Seti and Ramses. A little sacrifice doesn’t seem absurd to me….not really…but silos full of grain does. The Egyptians!

  • Jer says:

    yeah. the blast of his nostrils is weird. but it is a hole that breath comes from, right. It’s just strange cause there are also boogers in nostrils. lost in translation and culture differences. &etc. I don’t know.

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