Epic Evening

04/11/2009 § 4 Comments

“Water before love, my girl.”

“Does it take the whole Nile to quench your thirst?”

-Joshua and Lilia

I’m all alone this holiday weekend. Sure, sure, there are options. Things to do. Friends to see. &tc. But Gemma is out of town and I’m lazy without her. In an attempt to inject some epic into my life (something it’s been sorely lacking lately) I was planning on getting drunk by myself and and then blasting music and making my cat Hattie dance with me…all the while pretending that she was the size of a brown bear.

Luckily….or providentially perhaps(?)….I turned the tv on while I was eating my pizza– made from the dough I made the other night– and I caught the very beginning of The Ten Commandments! Thank you, thank you, thank you Cecile B. Demille.

…on top of that! old girl upstairs was tickling them ivories as if a frenzy had overtaken her. Sometimes things just work out.

I don’t really have much to say about the film, so I’ll just list some things; some awesome things. I like lists.

Firstly. Yul Brynner must be from a distant planet filled with crazy awesome people. That guy’s crazy awesome. Though his acting in The Ten Commandments is no different from¬† his acting in Westworld, (it’s funny to juxtapose those characters he played in my minds eye) it is still somehow spot on. Imagine that crazy robot running around Egypt claiming he was Ramses (probably by writing it in the sand….since, if memory serves me right, that wild west robot is a mute.

Secondly. What a funny time in which to live when folks thought that Gods would want grain…. and people would fill up silos full of it, just for the Gods. Isn’t that funny? If God has been around forever, and he made you, and you’ve never seen him/her, how on earth could you be presumptuous enough to think that God wants your lousy grain. Not even like bread or beer or prepared food….grain. haha. cracks me up. Eat it. Eat the grain. You grew it.

Thirdly. When old boy Seti and his daughter are playing Anubis cribbage or whatever, the dice they use is three round sticks that they rub between their hands and drop. …..are they always rolling threes?

Fourthly. Yul Brynner’s right hand man, perhaps some vizier(?), sounds like the Brain from Pinky and the Brain on Animaniacs.

Fifthly. Why’s he gotta chuck the commandments. I know he’s mad, but should Moses still be in too much awe of God to chuck them at the Baal worshipers? (It was Baal, right? Could have been Hermes for all I know)

Haven’t read my old testament in a while but I’m pretty sure Demille and company took some liberties. Still. It’s worth watching . Don’t know if Easter is the right occasion though. What’s Moses got to do with Jesus? I mean, I guess he foretold the coming and all that(?), right?

Any ideas. (Jer)

Added a few hours later.

God opens the sea with the blast of his nostrils.

-The Blind One

Haha. Blast of his nostrils. I’m sure there is a better, less comical way to say this. Perhaps “With his mighty breath,” or “with slight exhalation.” Anything other than blast of his nostrils. Say it aloud sometime.


Dr. Knoegle’s End

03/30/2009 § 1 Comment

The majority of people who had derailed themselves from Europe and America carried with them one single vice that many vegetarians had–they had an aversion to work.

–Herman Hesse, Dr. Knoegle’s End

My friend let me borrow The Fairy Tales of Hermann Hesse. And so I don’t post about Orlando Furioso all the time I decided to post about it.

I had never even known that he wrote fairy tales. I’m really birdbrained sometimes. I am however not entirely birdbrained and am somewhat familiar with his writings, having enjoyed them to varying degrees. Thinking about it later, Herman Hesse is a perfect soul to craft Fairy Tales, even his longer works feel kind of magical and, I dunno, light…airy…shimmery- –like the forest in the morning…you know, all that junk.

The whole collection is good. It’s a quick read and since I don’t speak German,¬† I can’t really tell if it’s accurate, but it’s good. Jack Zipes has done a good job with the stories in translation. The tone seems right. Jack zipes also writes great criticism on fairy tales in general and folklore if anyone is interested; Breaking the Magic Spell, in particular. *wink*

The quote at the top of this post is from Dr. Knoegles End, a story about a vegetarian utopia in which the good doctor makes enemies with Jonas, a disciple of the pure pulpist movement…people “wanting to come closer to the soil.” Amazingly enough Jonas’ thumbs and big toes were in the miraculous process of reverting back to their primitive state.

This story is the best. I don’t know what the point of it is. I read it twice and I’m pretty confused. It seems strange to me that Herman Hesse would be mocking anyone, even vegetarians….so I don’t think it’s that. But maybe it’s just a parable about how people are mean to each other. Even people with like interests. Dr. Knoegle is a tourist in the vegetarian world after all.

Whatever reading one could assign is irrelevent in my mind. It’s just a funny, original story. Who knew a fairy tale could be constructed¬† from characters who don’t eat meat?


12/31/2008 § Leave a comment

Gemma bought me Struwwelpeter for Christmas. It a a short collection of cautionary tales for children.


Apparently in Germany there lives “the great, long, red-legg’d scissor-man” waiting to cut off the thumbs of little boys who suck on them.

So if you want to suck your thumb, find other countries in which to do so besides Germany.

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